Thursday morning, I had a bright flash of inspiration — why don’t I keep Lilbit at home with myself, and let everyone else in the family have a nice, child-free day? The husband concurred that it was a good idea, and we agreed that I’d do it tomorrow to enable my mother-in-law to have a completely empty house (my father-in-law works from home on Thursdays), because she’s awesome and deserves a nice break. Because I was so unstable until my diagnosis and treatment, and only really started feeling properly stable in the past few months, I figured this would be an excellent challenge to see how my mental state was coping.
Friday dawned with me feeling flu-ish, which is perfect for staying at home. It’s not that great for child-wrangling, but I started to feel better as I consumed more caffeine and beverage. My husband headed straight for the office after breakfast, most happy at the petrol he was saving. I had decided to try and not have the television on much if I could help it, and instead put the radio on quietly. I asked Lilbit what she wanted to do, and she asked if she could play Sims on Daddy’s rarely-used desktop computer. I smiled; I adore her emulating me. And she’d already made a start by insisting on putting on her bathrobe for our ‘party’, as I was wearing mine until the cool of the morning had passed. I know, I know — some folks would roll their eyes at trading one screen for another, but I feel letting her poke at games helps her develop legit computing skills. I don’t want her to end up in her 20s like my sister, unable to match colours on the back of a computer tower (true story). She got to a point where she would yell at me if I tried to help (excellent), and instructed me to turn my attention back to my own computer(s).
Anyways, the things to note were that she was quite happy entertaining herself, that she wasn’t clingy in the slightest, and that we did play together in bits and bobs as she felt the need to socialize. We had a good time, and my mood held it together pretty darn well. I find that exciting — it’s one of those things that I consider indicative of me hitting ‘real girl’ status (not to diss on my mental illness, but rather, to embrace what I perceive as approaching a more neurotypical state). It means that I can try to do more to help my husband in wrangling her, and maybe even I’ll hit the point where I want to say… take her to the park and let him rest at home (gasp)! I’m taking it very slowly and cautiously — after all, I don’t want to screw it all up and end up triggering depression if I can help it.
It sounds like Lilbit and her daddy are back from shopping, so I’m going to go see what’s shaking. I hope that everyone is having a good weekend.
How brave. Glad it ended up well. I couldn’t do it.
I certainly admire those who do it day in and day out with more than one. We all have our different strengths and weaknesses, but still! 🙂