The Sound of Settling
Howdy from the new house!
Yes, we’re mainly moved now, which is yay. There’s still lots of unpacking to do, but at least the most important (to me) thing is done — my Technonest is rebuilt. It’s not the same configuration as before (as the space is different, for starters), but there’s a lot of storage for my wool and craft gear, and I get a great view of most of the downstairs from where I’m sitting. It’s *my* space for me, and it’s badass.
Suffices to say, this has eaten up the bulk of my attention lately. Emails? Yeah, I’m a few months behind on those now. Work? Well, got close to caught up before we had to focus on packing, so that isn’t dire. Crafting? Well, I fished my knitting out and have done a few rows, so that’s starting to progress again. Which is to say, things are finally starting to settle after being one helluva busy first half of the year.
And with that, I’m trying to take stock of my mood. I think I’m okay, but I’m also worried that I’m trending towards hypomania, or maybe a mixed episode. Even with Seroquel, my sleep has been a bit fractured and insomniatic. That could also be the horrible weather here in the UK; I’ve not been able to sleep under a proper blanket most of this year, and the lack of that comforting weight is sort of a big deal for me. I got to last night for the first time in weeks, and I slept a lot more deeply and remembered my weird-ass dreams. I’m also wary because some nights it seems like the soporific effects of the Seroquel never kick in, but who knows. It’s all a bit of a crapshoot!
I was reminded this past week by a friend that we sometimes are not the best witness to our bipolar experience. She had commented that at a certain point, she had thought she was very stable and doing well. On reflection some time later, she realized just how badly she had been doing. In that, I asked my husband today how he felt my relative mood was. He expressed that he felt I was pretty normal, as relative as that is, though pointed out that I do get a bit poker faced and lost in my own head. Fair enough; it’s a bit of a coping mechanism for when my brain gets away from me. And I’m probably doing it a touch more because as wonderful as the new house and my new setup is, as comfortable as it feels from the get-go, it’s still a new environment that I have to get used to. But on the whole, yay. I’m happy, I’m relaxed, and life is good, and the familia out here agrees that I am.
Back to trying to remember what the heck I was gonna do with myself today, ha ha.
Congrats! And, yes, moving is so stressful I am only willing to do it one more time before the day they carry my body out… and unfortunately that one more time looks to be in the near future, where I live now the rent keeps going up. ANYway… I can understand how that could aggravate symptoms, good for you using coping AND – feedback from loved ones?? that is health itself, good on you!!