Don’t Know (If I’m Coming Up or Down)
Ah, Purple Haze… how I love thee, always. It’s always been one of those songs that stuck me in the feels, though whether or not it’s because of heavy teenaged drug use alone… *chuckles*
This weekend has left me wondering if I’m on a gentle down slope back into depression. I *think* that I am doing fairly well, but I noticed the husband has been trying to give me more space to myself by scooping up the baby. While she is cute and scoopable, I still feel like he’s been going a bit above and beyond. Which, of course, I take advantage of to zone out, because that does my head space a lot of good.
But also, the chronic fatigue is an issue atop mental crap. For example, I called yesterday for sleeping in, and took an additional six hours of rest. I don’t know if it did me any good, but at least it got me through the worst of Seroquel’s morning fog? Is the answer more meds, less meds, different meds? I’m not inclined to change if I can help it, but still. I’d like the fog to lift, but I guess it’s just going to be the waiting game again for that.
I guess all I can really do is continue to pay attention, and if things go bad before my appointment a month hence (yes, seriously, I get seen almost never — thanks Tories for decimating the NHS :p), my psychiatrist has made sure repeatedly that I have the number for the CRISIS team. I don’t think it’s going to come to that though. I just need to keep on keeping on, and probably making more chocolate cakes. Chocolate fixes everything, right? 😉
<3
Could it be that the shortening days are compounding the side effects of Seroquel? Perhaps your pdoc can seasonally adjust your meds. I find I am more “up” in the summer, and more “down” in the winter, due to whether or not I get too much or too little sunlight.
Oh, I vastly prefer the cold and the winter. Summer is significantly more likely to trigger depression for me. 🙂 I’ll definitely be keeping an eye on things and possibly asking for an increase, just in case postpartum is making things a bit worse and I’m not quite processing it.
Postpartum does mess up hormones which affect mood. Wish you the best.
YAY Chocolate! (or should I say, “Again with the chocolate.” haha…
What does hubs say? or, why hasn’t he said?
Hope you are headed someplace good. 🙂
Hee, me too. Though right now, I’ll settle for the sunny shores of Vaguely Awake!