Fatigué
Whups, I’ve sort of zoned out and gone a bit silent here. To be fair, between baby and computer problems, I’ve not exactly been possessing copious amounts of writing-braining power. And those two things are atop severe chronic fatigue, which is worse right now because of menstruation, and well. I need more caffeine, suffices to say. 🙂
Having said that, things are going fairly well on the whole. Healthquest 2015 is off to a good start, for example. I’ve had a few blood tests done to make sure things are good, like thyroid (better than it used to be, I think), and have started the ball rolling on getting an IUS installed in the name of fighting my periods/endometriosis/chronic fatigue. I’m slightly amused because I started off talking to the female doctor about it, who pointed me back to my usual doctor as the guy who does them. I thought that seemed weird based on how dismissive he seemed of feminine health issues, and indeed, it’s the other male doctor in the practice that does them! So I’m booked in to see him on the 10th to find out about getting all the pre-work done before they can get it installed. I’m not super-optimistic about how well it might work, based on the fact that I’ve had progestogen-only pills in the past and they made no difference, but it seems the right thing to try. I’m still mentally preparing myself for the possibility of having to go full hysterectomy like my maternal aunt and grandmother, but I can hope that this’ll do the do.
I’m also needing to bend arms to get a laparoscopy, but I don’t think that’s going to happen for a bit. I’ll probably book back in to see the female doctor in a few months to see about getting that looked at, since I think she’s more likely to take it seriously without me having to bring up other issues, like how shite (*rimshot*) my bowels are and have been since I was 20. But eh, I should use every symptom in my arsenal probably, right?
Mental healthwise… it’s pretty neutral, which is how I like it. Now that my pedal exerciser has been fished out of a box, I’m enjoying taking light exercise. This will probably be the only mention of that, because I get very tired of people conflating health and weight (absolutely not related in my case), and also, I am trying to see how much I can ‘get away’ with before OCD kicks in and causes me to harm myself. So far so good, but not talking about it with people is a big part of being able to take the most out of it. I mainly mention it because I feel from past experience that there is a risk of triggering rapid cycling as well. I’m pretty sure I haven’t, but y’all know the deal — even with good self-awareness, we’re pretty skilled at lying to ourselves about ourselves when it suits us.
<3
I don’t know if this is what you meant, but if I want to siderail myself on doing diet/exercise, all I have to do is tell someone I’m going to do it. Within no time I am sure to stop, and then totally saturate myself with all the bad stuff I can stuff into myself.
I subscribe to health at every size myself. I’m not going to wait until I’m the ‘right’ body size to live my life, for one. For two, say… take Weight Watchers. How many people do it and then gain all the weight back, and then blame themselves? Weight loss fails in 95% of cases, and in most cases, the yo-yo dieting completely destroy peoples’ metabolisms and cause them to gain more and more weight.
Anyways, a good blog to learn more about this sort of thing is here:
https://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/blog/
I won’t tell you what you can and cannot do, because that violates the Underpants Rule (which is referenced often in this blog). But for me, I’ve already learned firsthand that diet and exercise ragingly pisses off my metabolism, and I’m not about to screw up something that is mainly working. After the birth of my first child, I decide I was going to lose the birth weight. I managed to shift 25 pounds in six months, a nice and reasonable pace. I quit brutally exercising and counting calories, and gained 30 pounds back in three weeks. No, I wasn’t stuffing my face — my metabolism freaked out because I’m so unable to gain weight that it wanted it all back and then some. I dropped a stone a year later out of the blue, because my body did what it needed to do. So instead of treating my body like the enemy, I’m supporting it doing its own thing. Nor will I moralize what is ‘good’ food or ‘bad’ food, because that has shown time and time again to cause people to binge. Just eat the damned stuff, enjoy life, and who cares if you’re fat, yanno? 🙂
Interesting. Will have to check out the underpants thing too.
Underpants rule is basically just not telling others what they can and cannot do, and vice versa. Master of your own underpants sort of thing, hee hee. The rest of it… it’s oddly revolutionary when it really shouldn’t be. Loving yourself at any size? Le gasp! 😀
lol 🙂 yes indeedy it should not be such a revelation!!