Home sweet home. I return from seeing my psychiatrist (and a side quest to go shopping).

Now, I’ve figured that I’ve been running a bit hypomanic. I’m slightly irritable, and my insomnia is ridiculous. It makes me so glad that I’ve managed to get a stock of melatonin to hand to help with it. I’d written it off as related to my menstrual cycle though, and continuing on because I’ve got a Mirena coil in place now. Hell, I even wondered if it might be what’s making me hypomanic, but if I’m honest with myself, I was before it was put in last week.

Of course, bipolar lies, and I hadn’t realised quite how bad this episode is until I was talking to Dr. K. She was very concerned because she’d never seen me so high. So we’re upping my dose of Seroquel, and she’s chucking some Depakote at me as well. I wonder if it’ll make me lose weight like I did when I started the Seroquel, ha ha. I better not go bald though, as my hair is my #1 point of body vanity. I’m also bemused because I’ve yet to have anyone try to do any blood testing for meds and liver function, or even mention it (she didn’t mention it), so I guess it’s on me to make sure to get my blood work done regularly. At least it’s free on the NHS, and easy to arrange tests.

I also asked again about the ADHD, because it’s been getting ridiculous. For example, last night I lost my keys at the pub. There were in my hoodie pocket… I don’t put things into my hoodie pocket. I was so agitated that everyone was trying to sit me down and get another drink in me, but I was just angry/fine/didn’t feel agitated. But I guess it’s like Dr. K said — I’m obviously up, and I’m sure my speech was just as pressured as it was when I was talking to the doctor today (which I hadn’t realised I’d been doing recently until talking to the doctor. Whups.). But yeah like, I’m starting to misplace things and do things that could cause me to harm myself (like leaving the car in drive), so I wanted to lean on her. It seems her previous attempt to get me referred got shot down, as it did the time before when I’d been working with Drs. A and Z. I told her that honestly, if they would chuck some pills at me, I’d be able to make do from there. She’s not adverse, but she wants to talk to Dr. Z first, and see how I respond to the increased Seroquel and Depakote. I certainly can’t disagree, and like I told her — I like how she is happy to help me be proactive, and that I often feel like doctors are a bit stinkface-y at having patients who are informed. She replied that no doctor would do that, but I still think her opinion might be coloured by her own wonderful approach to things. *smiles*

So anyways, yay. I guess. Or something. I mean like, I probably should be sad that I’m not in remission and magically ‘fixed’, but after going most of my life with no treatment or medication, I’m still quite happy to chuck pills into bipolar’s gaping maw. I would love to hear what any of y’all have experienced with depakote though. Crazymeds certainly makes it sound like an ultra-nasty, but like… I’ve had nausea problems all my life, and gone through two bouts of morning sickness, so I’m not super worried about that.

Hah, bemused. I just remembered that I -think- my notes just say that I have Bipolar with rapid cycling features rather than Bipolar II due to the lack of specifics in the ICD-10. So I’m guessing she was just worried that I was going to go full-blown manic and end up in hospital. Whups? *chuckles* Ah well. I’m glad I have a doctor who cares. And who knows? Maybe she’s right to be concerned; as I’ve already said, bipolar lies. I would much rather take a dose of prevention over an ounce of cure, especially since I’m not sure that I could actually handle being in a hospital (having never been an inpatient in one before, outside of my birth). Plus, I’d be more than a bit grumpy if my going on six year streak of daily blogging on Livejournal was broken. Hrmph.

So anyways, any of y’all that can tell me more about Depakote, I would be much obliged. And of course, as always, hope everyone out there is doing well.

<3