Keeping Busy and Such
I have to say, there’s not a lot going on in the brainbox. I’ve just been like… doing things ‘as normal’, I guess. There has been knitting, gaming, and socialisation in percentages that suit my preferences. I have had the winter joy of will it/won’t it snow — I want it to snow but it’s not, hrmph! Even the work year is off to a good start. The only impediment there has been the smallest wanting lots of cuddles due to teething, and well… it’s hard to be mad at her for being cute and snuggly, isn’t it.
In short, there isn’t a lot to complain about. My mood wibbles around a tiny bit up and down, but it doesn’t seem to push too far into the danger zone. I could complain about Depakote making me gain a stone in weight, but like… I don’t care? I’m actually quite okay with being fat, and having developed an addition to teeturtle has me excited about buying clothing for the first time ever (even when tiny small with a banging body, I found clothing purchasing a drag… not for any self-loathing, just because I couldn’t be assed).
Of course, as I sit here, the list of things that I could complain about starts expanding out in my head, but I’m doing my best to ignore it. I’m instead choosing to focus on the happy things (which of course has me occasionally questioning whether or not I’m going hypomanic because oh hey, thanks bipolar). I live in a country that suits me better than my country of origin. I’m still very much in love with my spouse after nine years together. We have a nice house and cute kids. We have enough money that we have a goodly amount of free time (though I get the most ’cause my husband is amazing about making sure I can hole up and take care of myself).
Or maybe I just need to recount the good because depression lies and I’m under its shadow and not aware of it. It’s always a possibility, isn’t it. Ā¬Ā¬ But at least I’m still deriving enjoyment from my life, the things I enjoy, and so on, so it’s prooooobably not that bad. Probably. All I can do is to just keep swimming, and to apply my own brand of self-motivation to myself that I would murder anyone else for attempting to do and wouldn’t slather anyone else with, because damn it is sunshine-y. *chuckles*
Anyways! Hope y’all are doing well out there. Back to my knitting.
<3
You sound great! I’m happy for you!!
I think my biggest complaint is that when I’m doing alright, I blog here less. I think that goes for all of us though for the most part?
Oh I don’t know, I think when I’m doing better I might blog more. Sometimes when I have the blah’s I feel like I have nothing to write about, so there’s these big spaces between my posts. Not big on consistency, unfortunately. I hope you are well today š
Hee, the world wouldn’t be that interesting if we all experienced it the same, ne pas? And can’t complain overmuch — the littlest wanted lots of cuddles, and it was my ‘day off’, so I could provide. I hope she’ll let me work tomorrow though!
That doesn’t sound so bad! š
Cuddles are nice and all, but I’m a bit like a cat — I’ve got to be left alone in my bubble lest I start hissing. I’m handling the clinginess better than I ever thought I could, but I *neeeeed* to work to keep my brain happy, so. We’ll see if we can, the two of us, Tetris up something that works for both of us. ::D
Very happy for you having an “easier” time of it. May it last awhile and bipolar not rear its ugly intrusive head.
Thanks. We’ll see. It’s like living the lottery with bipolar, isn’t it. There’s always a little part of me disassociated and convinced that the good is a lie.