And by ‘fine’, I mean the ‘original meaning’ of Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional... well okay, the fucked up part, at least. I’ve had headaches that taking paracetamol (Tylenol) made worse in spite of the fact I strictly limit myself taking it for when I really need it. That went on for a couple of days to the point where I didn’t take anything after a day or two of trying to treat it. And then I got some pinchy back spasmy things, though thankfully, paractamol + Nurofen Plus did the do (Nurofen Plus = ibuprofen and codeine). Yeah, got to love the need to throw everything at anything. ¬¬

Having said that, I was bemused to catch myself suddenly able to manage a few household chores. I’d commented to my husband that it probably had something to do with pushing back not only the bigger pain, but the constant level of physical pain that chronic fatigue and mental illness bring. It wasn’t much — just sorting through laundry and doing some dishes, but it’s a lot for *me*. If I’m honest, if I make it through a day mainly cheerful while remembering to eat, that’s pretty good as far as I’m concerned.

Really though, the brain has been holding on pretty darn well. I sort of figured the extended release Seroquel worked better for me than the normal release, but I hadn’t really appreciated just how much better until those couple of shitty months. My antidepressant is at its max dose, but that’s fine for now. My only niggling complaint right now is that my getting to sleep is still a bit rocky if I go for more than a day without taking some melatonin, but that’ll even out in time. I think.

At this point, my biggest big-big complaint is wondering where in the aether my ADHD referral is. One of my friends works at my GP now, and she confirmed that she hadn’t seen anything about the referral there recently. It’s been a couple of months now since I was sitting in Dr. K’s office watching her phone the surgery up to push it along, so maybe it’s gotten somewhere. Maybe it hasn’t. I continue to hope that the system will eventually vindicate me, but for now, it’s frustrating and occasionally hilarious. Yes, hilarious — I hear some pretty weird crap from my brain static shorting out, and now that the husband and I have a firmer mutual understanding of this, I can share what my brain was telling me I heard over what was actually said, and sometimes it’s pretty random. Still, it would be nice to have it yanno, working and focused (so that I don’t forget about things like this post over the course of a day or two, doot doot doot).

Anyways, tl;dr, I’m alive, mainly doing well, just sort of low spoon when it comes to writing. So it goes sometimes. Hope y’all are well out there.

<3